FUNNY WEDDING SPEECHES | FUNNY WEDDING TOASTS

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A wedding speech need not be lengthy.  All the things that ought to be in a funny wedding speech can already be said in a 700-100 word write-up. A 3-5 minute speech would do.  This ensures that the audience would not be bored and instead would be left wanting for more.  The three parts of the speech can be divided into the introduction, the body, and the closing.  Here are some tips on the ideal length and contents for each.

The Introduction

            The introduction can just be a 150 word paragraph.  It can include just a short greeting of the guests and the bride and groom then perhaps a short quote or line of a song that would suit the contents of the body.  There is no need to acknowledge every VIP guest in the list.  A short catchy line and its explanation would do. 

The Body

            For this portion, the speaker can put in more details.  The contents of the body comes from the speaker’s own experiences with the bride/ groom and from the speaker’s own interview with the bride/groom’s other close friends and relatives.  This could consist of 1 to 3 anecdotes that will hold the attention of the audience.  The speaker could for instance recount a funny childhood experience of the bride/ groom then connect it to what a fine looking bride/ groom she/he turned out to be.  The speaker could also tell an interesting teenage anecdote of the bride/groom then relate this to what a responsible lady/ gentleman the bride/groom turned out because of the influence of her/his partner.  This portion could also recount some personality quirk differences between the bride and groom and point out how they were able to ultimately resolve these differences.  This should be said with a touch of humor to hold the audience attention. The body need not be so lengthy or it might bore the audience to death.  The body of the speech could just be a 500-700 word write-up.  The important thing is to tickle the funny bone of the audience at the same time make them feel nostalgic. 

The Closing

            This portion of the speech can be pegged at 150 words as well. The speaker should wrap up the speech with a bang.  It could include another funny quote or words of wisdom to sum up everything that has been said in the body.  Some well wishes for the bride and groom can also be included. A toast for the newlyweds could then follow as an appropriate ending to the speech. 

            All throughout the speech, it is important to keep the tone light and humorous. The event is a happy one so guests should be kept smiling and laughing along the course of the speech.  Tears of joy would also be a welcome reaction as the speaker recounts some anecdotes about the bride and groom down memory lane.  The trick is to keep it short and simple. With a touch of humor and eloquence, that wedding speech is sure to be a hit among the audience.

Speech template #1

Good evening/afternoon ladies and gentlemen.  I was invited to this wedding out of force of habit. Being a close relative/ friend of the (name of the bride/groom) , I have been to every single eventful celebration in his/her life and this one is no exception.  The theme of his/her life can be encapsulated in the song (title of the song) because it brings fine memories on her childhood/teenage way before he/she met his/her partner for life.

(name of the bride/groom) use to (insert childhood anecdote), (insert teenage anecdote).

However, when he/she met (name of bride/groom), everything change.  The change however was for the better.  Both of them do bring out the best in each so that the first time that I’ve heard the good news that they will be saying their I dos, I had no doubt that this would be a partnership that is for keeps.

I thank you all for sharing this touching event with (name of groom), (name of bride) and their families.  Let’s all be there to support their new journey.  As they say (insert a funny quote). Cheers and a pleasant evening to all!

Speech template #2

(name of bride and groom), dear guests this is a momentous occasion as we witness how two very opposite personalities have promised to journey life as one.  (Name of the bride) (insert anecdote or bride personality quirks) while (name of the groom) (insert anecdote or groom personality quirks) .  Despite their differences they have adjusted well to each other and this wedding day is the highlight of their love for one another.

(Name of the bride/ groom), I entrust you to (Name of bide/groom) as I know that you bring out the best in each other.  I can still remember when (insert anecdote).  Your (mother/father) also told me about the time you (insert anecdote)

Truly, your different personalities complement the strengths and weaknesses of each other so that both of you have emerged as better persons throughout the different stages of your relationship.

I wish you all the best that this life can offer.  Just don’t go (insert personality quirk of pride/ groom) too much so that on your 50^th wedding anniversary we can expect as much smiles as what we’ve seen today.  To the bride and groom, cheers!

Speech template #3

A pleasant afternoon/evening to everyone who have come to share this special lifetime bond with (name of the groom) and (name of the bride).  Thank you for gracing this affair. Being here reminds me of a striking love quote that I’ve read.

It says that (insert a funny quote about love).  This is so true when we recount the love story of (name of groom) and (name of bride).  When they first met (insert anecdote). When they were dating (insert anecdote).  If these stories were a preview of what’s in store in the future for the couple, we can expect some hearty laughs and good cheer then. 

My wish for them can be summarized by saying (insert a funny quote about love). For their relationship, this is as true then as it is now.  For (name of groom) and (name of bride) I wish you many blessings in this loving partnership.  May the sparkle in your eyes remain when we see each other again on your 50^th wedding anniversary. Cheers!

Speaking in front of many people is nerve-wrecking enough.  Doing a funny speech could give the speaker twice the anxiety but not if it is well prepared. Here are some tips that can be used in order to deliver a perfectly funny wedding speech.

1. Interview other people that are close to the bride/ groom.

Research is key to get ideas on what funny lines and anecdotes to include that will hit right home. How was the bride/ groom like when he/she was young? How about when they were teenagers? How about when they were dating? Are there some quirks that the bride/ groom have?

1. Plan your speech

Make an outline of your speech.  Plan how the body of the speech would connect to the introduction. Plan also how the closing part will connect to the flow in the body of the speech.

1. Begin with something catchy

The introductory portion should be catchy in order to generate interest for the succeeding parts of the speech. This could be a funny quote that would connect to the story in the body of the speech.

1. End with something funny but thought provoking

Like the first part, this could be a quote or a simple statement closing the anecdote in the body of the speech.  This should keep the audience laughing and at the same time pondering. 

1. Keep it short and simple (KISS)

No need for difficult words. Keep it conversational. The speech would be uninteresting if the words used would not connect with the audience. 

1. Be a storyteller

Try to get details from the interview. There may be some interesting anecdotes about the bride/ groom.  It helps if the funny story is close to the hearts of the couple.

7.  Timing is everything

      Know when and how to deliver those punchlines.

1. Proofread and edit your speech

Nothing beats a well-proofread and well-edited speech. Delivery becomes more relaxed if at the back of one’s mind he knows the speech has been polished already.

      9.   Practice, practice, practice

The speech can be delivered in front of a mirror to observe one’s own body language.  Are the gestures made timely enough to the contents of the speech? Are there unnecessary movements? Does the body posture connote self-confidence?

10.  Let somebody judge the speech

      Deliver the speech in front of a friend or relative. The person can rate the speech at the same time can give constructive comments.  This will allow the speaker to take note of the comments when the speech is delivered on the wedding day itself.  The speaker can also observe the reaction of the “judge” while on practice.  Is he smiling? Is he laughing? Is he able to follow the train of thought of the speaker?

It is important to just relax when delivering the speech. It is just like recounting a story or sharing jokes with an old friend.  It need not be too formal. Certainly, the language should not be rude either. The speech should remain lighthearted & nostalgic then the speaker is all set to deliver a memorable speech.

The best man or maid of honor is usually tasked to do a wedding speech. He or she can do just the traditional best wishes or one can give out an especially funny and memorable speech. Here are some tips. 

1. Tell them about a funny childhood experience of the bride or groom

      Did the bride/groom use to dress up as a bunny in her 1^st grade play? Good thing now she looks so elegant/dapper in her wedding dress/ tuxedo.

2. Tell them about a funny high school experience of the bride or groom

      Was the bride/ groom awarded as the late Mr. Smith in his high school batch for always being tardy? Good thing the only time he/she is punctual is on his/her wedding date.

3. Tell them about an unusual habit of the bride or groom

      Does the groom sing in his sleep? Does the bride practice her dance moves while watching television? Would they be able to stand each other’s weird habits?

4. Tell them about an unusual food preference of the bride or groom

      Does the groom dip his chips on his orange juice before munching? Does the bride put salt on her cereal? Does each have to adapt to each others weird eating habits?

5. Tell them about a weird talent of the bride or groom.

      Can the groom move his ears without touching them with his hands? Can the bride walk through fire and broken glass the way they do in the circus? Now they can be sure that there will be no extra-marital affairs are these are such tough acts to follow.

6. Tell them about the funny first encounter of the bride and groom

      Did the bride first meet the groom when she accidentally went inside a men’s restroom?  Did the bride just cover for a girl friend on their first date without the groom knowing? Good thing those accidental encounters turned out so well today.

7. Tell them about a funny story when the bride and groom were dating

      Did the bride/groom dress up as a pumpkin on a party that coincided with costume party, thinking the affair was a costume party when in fact it was a black tie affair? Good thing he/she dressed right for the affair on their wedding day.

8. Tell them a funny/weird practice about the bride’s side of the family

      Did the bride’s family require the groom to do some Dance Revo moves before they officially welcomed him to the family?

9. Tell them a funny/ weird practice of the groom’s side of the family

      Did the groom’s family require the bride to dye her hair blonde as proof of her love to the groom, since everyone in their family are blondes?

1. Tell them about a funny thing noticed during the wedding rites

Was the groom too nervous on his wedding date that he wore mismatched socks? Good thing he and the bride are a perfect pair.

The idea is to tell them a funny story about the bride or groom and joke if their partner could live with it for the rest of their lives.

A wedding is not only a formal affair, but most of the time it is an expensive affair. Thus, for this once in a lifetime moment, the couple would want perfection as much as possible. To help make the affair flawless, it is important to note some wedding speech etiquette.  Knowing these guideline will help avoid major faux pax during the celebration.   Here are some dos and don’ts for the wedding speakers.

1. Do not joke about race and religion.

            These topics are taboo during the wedding day. The speaker may just end up making the guest feel uncomfortable especially if they have different religious beliefs.

2. Do not talk about previous romantic relationships of the bride/ groom

            The wedding is a celebration of a new stage in life of togetherness for the couple. Thus, talking about their ex relationships would leave  bad taste in the mouth.

3. Do not refer to morbid topics like death.

            This is a happy occasion that is a cause for a vibrant celebration.  Talking about death in the family will just dampen the jovial mood.       

4.  Do not use profane language

            The wedding is usually a very formal event. The use of coarse language just does not suit the elegant atmosphere of the reception.

5.The order of the speech should be father of the bride first, the groom second, the best man third.

            This is the standard order for speeches in weddings.  It helps in the smooth flow of the program if this tradition is followed.

6. Do not bore the audience with a long speech.                         

            A medium length speech is ideal. A five minute speech would do so that the audience does not become restless and the speaker could hold their attention.

7. Be the one to present the next speech if there is no one else in charge.

            If the wedding is a personal do-it-yourself affair, there may be no emcee to handle the order of the program.  Thus, be sensitive by introducing the next speaker less he be embarrassed to directly go on stage after you speak without a cue.

8. Make sure you’re not yet drunk from the wine served when delivering the speech

            Worse than delivering a half-baked speech is a speech delivered by a drunk speaker.  It is not just an embarrassment for the one speaking but most especially for the bride and groom who have been praying for a dream wedding without any major gaffes

9. Thank those who have helped make the wedding a success.

            Politeness is always welcome in a wedding. Showing gratefulness to those who have put in effort for the success of the event should be standard in the speech. A line or two to say thank you would do. No need to be melodramatic here.  A light and humorous tone would be welcome.

10. Avoid inappropriate jokes.

            The couple and their guests might feel uncomfortable with inappropriate messages. The task of the speaker is to make the crowd feel at ease.  Any topic that may come off as an intrusion to the couple’s private moments is not welcome in a formal affair.